Suggested Guidelines for Parents in Separation and Divorce
Actions*
These
suggestions are to help you and/or your children in this time
of mental stress
and emotional strain.
-
Think first of your child’s
or children’s present and future emotional and mental well-being before
acting. This will be difficult because of your feelings, needs, and emotions
but try, try, try.
-
Maintain your composure and
emotional balance as much as possible, and in talking to yourself (verbally
and in your thoughts) remember it’s not the end of the world. Laugh when you
can and try to keep a sense of humor. Remember, what your child or children
see in your attitudes is, to some measure, reflected in theirs.
-
Allow yourself and your
children time for readjustment. Convalescence from an emotional operation such
as dissolution is essential.
-
Continuing anger or
bitterness toward your former partner can injure your children far more than
the dissolution itself. The feelings you show are more important than the
words you use.
-
Refrain from voicing
criticism of the other parent. This is difficult but absolutely necessary. For
a child’s healthy development, he or she must have respect for both parents.
-
Do not force or encourage
your child to take sides. To do so encourages frustration, guilt, and
resentment.
Client Manual
217
* Lynne Z. Gold-Bikin and
Stephen Kolodny, The Divorce Trial Manual (2003)
